


put your head on my shoulder.

by Anonymous



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Fluff, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, haechan is the secret matchmaker, johnny is the best hyung once again, some jaedo 5 am fluff, this is just one big love note to doyoung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26331172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: – Sequel chapter added!There are quite a few things Jaehyun is too afraid to admit to Doyoung, not being able to work up the courage to say it to his face.But when they're on the ride back to their dorms, with Doyoung pressed up right next to him, he manages to do it anyway.The only catch: Doyoung is asleep.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 17
Kudos: 176
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

The van is still moving, driving down the quiet road just outside the city when Doyoung opens his eyes.

Irritated by the bright street lights shining right into his face through the small crack between the short curtains, he rubbed his eyes and let out a groan.

 _"Why are these even here if they're not gonna do their job?"_ Doyoung mumbled to himself sleepily before realizing he had an audience.

Jaehyun, who Doyoung now identified as the hard shoulder he had been resting his head against the entire time he was asleep, chuckled quietly from beside him.

"You should go back to sleep, hyung. We're not going to arrive for like, another hour or something."

The two of them were tightly crammed in the back seats; Donghyuck dozing off to Jaehyun's left, with his head against the window.

Johnny was seated in the row in front of him, turning his head back when Doyoung denied taking another nap.

"I can't believe you fell asleep before the baby did," Johnny chimed in, pointing to Donghyuck, "he was making fun of you for it after you fell asleep, calling you old and then he fell asleep himself not even ten minutes later."

Doyoung smiled and looked over to said baby, leaning over Jaehyun with a hand on his thigh to poke his cheek. But the youngest didn't react and kept breathing quietly through his parted lips, leaving Doyoung to sit back in his seat.

"What else did you say behind my back while I was innocently catching up on sleep? Unbelievable."

The words didn't have any heat behind them to begin with, but they most certainly didn't when the last word was almost immediately replaced by a yawn.

"Not much really."

Jaehyun shared a look with Johnny as he replied, the latter raising his eyebrows with a knowing smile, but not commenting on it further. Even Taeyong in the seat next to him only turned around briefly to show him an amused grin before shaking his head with a gentle laugh and turning back.

Doyoung's brain hadn't fully caught up with his surroundings yet, so he missed their cheeky glances, deciding to put his head on Jaehyun's shoulder once again instead as he watched the world outside the window fly past them on their way back home.

-

"Is he asleep?"

"I think so?" Jaehyun said and quietly whispered Doyoung's name to check.

The older didn't stir.

"Yeah, he wouldn't pretend to be asleep." Johnny added, stretching his arms, one right into Taeyong's face, earning himself a glare.

"He's no fun, we could've played a game!"

Donghyuck puffed his cheeks and crossed his arms. He had already made up exactly _no_ games in his head to play on the way back to their dorm from another city they had just been to. He just wanted to project his boredom onto the others and make them entertain him.

"Just let him sleep," Johnny said "he needs it."

"Ugh, is this what old age does to people?"

Jaehyun laughed in disbelief, launching a tickle attack on him right after.

"Be quiet. You might be young and cute now, which Doyoung-hyung still is too, but in a few years, we'll probably have to scrape _your_ drool off these seats."

Donghyuck retaliated against his claim, turning his body away to face the window dramatically.

"Unfair. You have a crush on him, of course you'd be on his side. But you're on my side, right, Johnny-hyung?"

His hope was crushed as Johnny only shrugged unapologetically.

"You have a lot of advantages as the youngest, but I'm still older than you and I'm not gonna let you call me a grandpa. Sorry."

With that, Donghyuck lost interest in his members and began occupying himself on his phone instead, most likely sending enraged messages to the others in the van.

"Anyway. You and Doyoungie, huh?"

Johnny winked at Jaehyun as he spoke, arms wrapped around the headrest of his seat as he expectantly eyed the younger. Jaehyun's eyes only widened and he put a finger in front of his mouth to keep him from talking further.

"Oh my God, he's asleep. He won't hear us, so now spill."

"There's nothing to spill."

The older rolled his eyes, mocking his gestures.

"Uh-huh, sure. Stop lying to yourself. This isn't even a crush anymore, you full on _love_ him at this point. _Why can't you just grow a pair and tell him?_ "

" _Why can't you just stop talking about my not-so-secret secret in front of everyone?"_

Them switching to English for their respective questions came to them naturally. It was something that happened every now and then when they'd playfully argue; a small piece of comfort.

Jaehyun sighed and looked to his right to see Doyoung still sleeping soundly against him, his lashes fanning over his flawless skin from Jaehyun's angle.

There wasn't much else he had to say in his defense. It had surely been two years since he slowly realized that what he felt for Doyoung wasn't a friendly, brotherly bond. And ever since then, he couldn't manage to put a cap on his feelings.

They'd just grow, bubble up and burst out of the small corner of his brain and heart he had pushed them back to.

The feelings themselves didn't necessarily bother him. What did bother him was his own inability to own up to them and confess; instead, pining after his co-worker and friend from afar, like a high schooler.

"We see the way you look at him. _He_ sees the way you look at him. It's just a matter of time now and you're going to regret wasting so much of it later, I promise."

Jaehyun shook his head and cocked an eyebrow up at Johnny.

"You seem awfully sure that this could ever work out." He said as he pointed between himself and Doyoung, making sure that he was still asleep simultaneously.

" _You_ seem awfully sure that it _won't_ work out. Why?"

Jaehyun responded with yet another sigh before speaking up again, tapping against his knee with his fingers.

"Look, I've tried.. kind of. To tell him, I mean. I'm not this bad at it usually - do not look at me like that, I am not - but whenever I work up the courage to face him, I chicken out last minute and I just don't know why, so I might as well sit this one out."

"Yeah, sitting your "crush" out for two years now worked out so great for you. Congrats."

Jaehyun threw another glare his way, tilting his head in disbelief - but gently, so he wouldn't, you know, bump it against Doyoung and wake him.

"Jaehyun, I'm serious. I already said, this is way past being just a small crush. He deserves to know and you deserve an answer for yourself."

"But he already has so much to deal with. You've seen how much time he spends practicing nowadays, he's so busy and stressed all the time. I honestly don't know why he's doing so much. He's so talented; he sings like an angel and dances like he was born to do it. Seriously, how does he manage to keep becoming even more perfect than he was before?

Or wait, don't answer that. I know exactly why. It's because of how stubborn and hard-working he is. Once he sets his mind to something, he always pulls through and finishes it ten times better than he even intended. And lately, he's been staying longer and longer at the studio, he really wants to improve even more. 

I mean I get it, but I just really hope he's not overworking himself, because he's already the best in my eyes. He just can't seem to see that himself, so he keeps doing more and more. But I guess that's just how he is.

He's so generous, he'll go above and beyond for his friends, for the group. His heart is so full of love and all he ever does is give it away, because he'd rather make us happy than get any of it back. And sometimes it worries me, as much as it makes me love him.

It makes me want to protect him and tell him he doesn't have to be the one giving every single time, that he can and _should_ receive double- no, triple the amount of love he gives.

I wish I could be the one he seeks out when he needs to receive love for once or when he's having problems, whatever kind of problems those may be. I wish he'd know I'd always at least try to share his burden and take some weight off his shoulders. If I could, I'd take all of it. I'd rather carry it for him to let him breathe for once than make him deal with it on his own.

I'm afraid of it becoming too much for him to bear one day. What if he loses his passion because his burden had grown too much? What if he stops singing because he just can't take it anymore? I don't want to imagine it, I want to help him.

I know I have to tell him if I want all that, but I also feel so selfish for it, because I have no idea how he truly feels. He could see me as nothing more than just a little brother and I'd be the one pushing him to give himself up to me emotionally like that.

But I can't help it. I love him and I want him to love me too and if it doesn't today, then it'll drive me crazy some other day, because all I've felt for the past two years is this burning urge to hold him and never let go, like he'll disappear if I do.

It's just so scary, you know?"

"..."

The sound of Taeyong and someone else in a row further away - was it Yuta? - lightly clapping interrupted the rambling Jaehyun didn't know he had started.

"..right, Jung 'I'm not in love with my friend but I just spent ten minutes explaining why I want to marry him when no one asked' Jaehyun."

"If it wasn't for him still sleeping, I'd have hit you by now."

Johnny laughed heartily. He might've not signed up for that speech about why Doyoung is so great, but he sure enjoyed it, finding the way Jaehyun talked about him incredibly endearing and hoping for nothing but for the both of them to stop being so oblivious towards each other's feelings.

"Aww, cute, he's already bringing us closer together as friends, what a great boyfriend he'd make."

Heat started creeping up Jaehyun's neck, all the way up to his cheeks and finally to the tips of his ears when Johnny used that word.

"That really was touching, though. I've never heard you talk about anything or anyone that way before, so full of affection and concern. Doyoung should know about all that, he'd be so happy."

The words had barely left his mouth before Johnny realized in the same breath that Jaehyun's proclamation of love for Doyoung had completely gone to waste.

"No! You'll probably never let your mouth run like that again and Doyoung missed every part of it! I hate this.."

The disappointment in his voice drew a giggle from Jaehyun, who was relieved that he had managed to work his way through his list of reasons why he loved Doyoung before the latter woke up. He knew for a fact he wouldn't have been able to stop himself if it happened.

"Damn it, someone really should've recorded all that.."

A small, barely audible 'beep' followed Johnny's wish.

And maybe Donghyuck hadn't been asleep the entire time after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so tired, someone please save me. T_T
> 
> (I might edit this heavily when I'm fully functioning)


	2. sequel!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So.. what did Donghyuck really do with the recording?

Donghyuck had spent the past few days in complete serenity, playing games, eating snacks and definitely not listening to an audio recording as they enjoyed a bit of time off.

His scheme had been on its best way to working perfectly, not a single flaw in sight, up until the very last second. He hadn’t accounted for the final beep signaling the end of the recording, thus, alarming every single witness around him.

Jaehyun had threatened him. He didn’t say what he’d do if he showed that recording to Doyoung, but he _did_ threaten him. Luckily for Donghyuck, Doyoung had began stirring shortly after the threats, so Jaehyun just told him to be quiet, made him promise not to say anything and put on his best ‘that totally didn’t just happen’ smile to greet Doyoung.

But it seemed it had only been the calm before the storm, quite literally, because he could hear stomping down the hallway to his and Johnny’s room that afternoon. Of course, he couldn’t have been sure that it was him just from hearing it, but he knew exactly that Jaehyun wouldn’t let him off so easily, so he had been expecting it.

He didn’t know whether it was luck that none of the other members on his floor were home or not, maybe he should’ve told Johnny to make sure Jaehyun never caught him alone and that he definitely was the culprit if they found Donghyuck dead in a ditch.

Fortunate or not, Jaehyun had now successfully barged into his room as he sat on his bed, scribbling on his iPad.

”You showed him.”

Jaehyun said, still standing in the doorway to his room. He crossed his arms and stared at him as he accused him.

Donghyuck looked up and tried acting smug, putting his tablet down; he wasn’t exactly sure what he supposedly showed who, but he’d still act smug.

”I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The older stepped into the room, closing the door behind him and Donghyuck might’ve seen his life flash before his eyes as he sensed Jaehyun’s incoming wrath.

”You know exactly what I’m talking about. You promised you wouldn’t!”

”I promised against my will, just to be clear. But I really didn’t tell anyone.”

Jaehyun wasn’t convinced. He huffed and walked over to Johnny’s bed, plopping himself down on it with his arms still crossed. Donghyuck changed his mind; Jaehyun looked like a kid pouting on the bed, that look wouldn’t intimidate anyone if they saw it up close. 

”Why’s Doyoung acting so weird then? Why is he avoiding me?”

”That’s still hyung for you.”

”I swear, I will end you, Donghyuck.”

The latter saw the pillow flying towards him very cleary, he made no effort to duck away and let it hit his face full force. When it fell to his lap, there was a mocking grin on his face.

Jaehyun stood up, getting ready to tackle him, and Donghyuck hid behind the pillow for safety, peering over it to see the older staring back at him. He threw the pillow back at Jaehyun and stood up to sit at his desk, grabbing his phone simultaneously.

”I didn’t show him anything, though. I promise. I’m annoying, but I’m not _that_ annoying,” Donghyuck said and spun around in his chair.

Jaehyun watched him with a defeated expression, now choosing to sit on Donghyuck’s bed instead, hugging one of the pillows to his chest.

”He must’ve heard, he must’ve heard while I was talking. He probably wasn’t asleep or woke up earlier than we thought.”

Donghyuck himself started asking himself how Doyoung could’ve heard about it. Johnny definitely wouldn’t say anything and none of the others would care enough to go out of their way to tell him. Taeyong even warned the others, asking them to be quiet and let Jaehyun take it at his own pace.

”Why do you think he’s avoiding you? I haven’t noticed anything,” he asked.

”He’s just acting weird, it feels like he wants to get away from me as quickly as possible whenever we talk.”

Jaehyun wasn’t sure why he was telling Donghyuck, probably the least helpful out of all of them when it came to dating advice, about it, but he figured another opinion could help. Plus, he was the main suspect; maybe he could actually make him feel bad for him.

But the younger one didn’t appear to be very concerned, rather thoughtful as he stayed quiet, not answering the other. 

Then, like he had just remembered something, Donghyuck stretched his arms and legs out, folding his hands behind his head.

”Well.. I didn’t show it to him, but.. if he happened to have heard it while I listened to it or something.. then I don’t know.”

”This really isn’t funny.”

”Never said it was.”

They locked eyes and Jaehyun wanted nothing more than to wipe that smile off his face, but he managed to keep his composure.. mostly.

”You- no, I can’t- ugh, why would you listen to it in the first place? Just delete it already!”

Donghyuck gave him nothing more than a shrug.

Jaehyun was standing once again, possibly about to threaten Donghyuck again, but the sound of keys turning in the lock of the front door interrupted him. All annoyance left his body at once and was replaced with an insecure stance, not very on brand for the confident Jung Jaehyun.

Soon enough, Doyoung and Taeyong walked past the room together and Jaehyun struggled to control his expression.

”What are you doing?” Doyoung asked as he stopped in front of the door, watching Jaehyun standing in the middle of the room awkwardly and Donghyuck laughing at him.

Jaehyun, through gritted teeth, turned around to face Doyoung, but only after sending the youngest out of the bunch a death glare.

”Nothing, hyung. I was just asking.. if he wanted to come up to my room for a bit.”

The lie weighed heavy on Jaehyun’s tongue as he fought to get it past his lips, but the two older men didn’t seem to mind. Taeyong cocked an eyebrow up at them, but only briefly, then he started pulling Doyoung along the hall to their own rooms. 

Doyoung let himself be dragged away, not questioning them any further and Jaehyun sighed in relief. Though it didn’t last long before he directed his attention back to the little troublemaker.

”This isn’t over.”

”It kind of is.”

A sigh and roll of his eyes was Jaehyun’s last reaction before he left the room, leaving behind a thoroughly amused Donghyuck.

-

To say Jaehyun had been on edge after that incident was an insane understatement.

Doyoung knew and obviously hadn’t taken it too well. Why else would he act the way he did? 

Jaehyun had to admit, he was rather disappointed with his reaction. It’s not like he wanted to tell him in the first place, but he would’ve expected someone as mature and rational as Doyoung to want to talk about it to him. He would’ve been able to explain himself at the very least.

He sat at the dinner table with Yuta and Jungwoo as he contemplated his options:

Number one, ignore it for the rest of his life and ruin his friendship with Doyoung, more than he already did.

Number two, talk to him about it.

Number three, get someone else to talk to Doyoung about it – staying true to the ‘clueless teenager’ nature of his crush.

If Jaehyun had to choose one, he wouldn’t. They were all absolutely terrible.

His defeated groan attracted curious glances from the two members seated across the table from him. He had been poking around in his bowl, stirring the rice around and his inability to hide what he was thinking about in that moment didn’t help his case in the slightest.

”Why are you so dramatic? He’s literally downstairs. All you have to do is tell him ‘I’m unconditionally in love with you and want to spend the rest of my days with you only’, like, is it that hard?”

Yuta’s indifference showed in every part of his body and expression. He kept chewing on a piece of meat, looking up at Jaehyun blankly, like what he said was the most reasonable thing anyone could ever do in this situation.

”It’s almost like that’s not how things work in this society.”

”It would, if you could just get over yourself.”

Jungwoo did nothing but laugh at his misery, giving him a semi-apologetic shrug at most.

”I’m sure you got something wrong. I can’t imagine him ignoring you over something like this, he’d definitely say something,” he said, offering some genuine words of comfort, unlike Yuta.

”But I don’t know what else I could’ve done to deserve this treatment from him. How am I supposed to fix it when I don’t even know what I did?”

Jaehyun had tried going through everything that could’ve upset Doyoung in his mind, but the problem was that they hadn’t interacted much at all in the first place, so there hadn’t been many opportunities for him to mess up. All there had been were little chats about nothing in particular as they casually hung out together with all the others.

”It’s almost like ‘society’ solves this issue by simply asking the person about it.”

Jaehyun’s face twisted into an expression of disbelief, clicking his tongue at Jungwoo’s words before he cleaned up his own bowls and utensils. The audacity they had to team up against him like this; there didn’t seem to be a single person in their entire dorm that felt any kind of sympathy for him.

As he washed his dishes, hearing the sounds of Yuta and Jungwoo’s ongoing mumbling about what kind of couple Jaehyun and Doyoung would make, he began considering his options once again, taking their words to heart.

Deep down, Jaehyun knew the only way to figure this mess out was through sitting his hyung down and telling him the truth. He wouldn’t be able to lie even if he wanted to and if Doyoung had already heard about it, it seemed silly to pretend that his ten minute monologue in the van didn’t happen.

Jaehyun just didn’t want to admit to it. Never in his life had he worried about his crushes rejecting him, because he always approached everything in life with an air of carelessness and indifference. If something didn’t work out, he wasn’t the type to dwell on it for too long, he’d move on and look for his luck somewhere else.

Maybe it happened with age, maybe it was just the fact that it was Doyoung – most likely the latter – but for whatever reason, this ‘crush’ wasn’t something Jaehyun could handle lightly. It felt like a delicate glass case in his hands; one wrong move and he could lose an invaluable part of his life.

The stakes were suddenly immeasureably high in a game Jaehyun usually played with ease. But with Doyoung, he couldn’t, and he found himself overthinking his every move, his words and actions like a feather’s touch, scared to break the glass.

Jaehyun made his way back to his room and gently shut the door before leaning against it. Whatever he tried to tell himself, nothing worked. Everything was right and everything was wrong, there was no way for him to choose one correct course of action.

What he did know was that he hated the uncertainty and not being able to act freely around Doyoung. He didn’t want to keep thinking about all the things Doyoung could’ve heard in that damned recording when he saw him, he wanted to go back to being his friend at the very least if they weren’t going to become anything more than that.

He sighed with his head in his hands, eventually pushing himself away from the door to slip under his covers to hide away.

He had no choice; he’d talk to him at the next opportunity.

-

Unfortunately for Jaehyun, Doyoung didn’t seem to have any plans to leave the dorms for the day. It would’ve at least given him an excuse to avoid the inevitable.

Not only would he be home, but now he also had the members on his floor at his throat, urging him to walk out that door and knock on Doyoung’s. He had enough of their constant teasing and mocking, though the thought of proving them wrong, that he indeed wasn’t some desperate teenager, sounded way more appealing in theory rather than actual reality.

Nonetheless, he had woken up, dead set on regaining his cool, carefree composure to confess and treat it like any other crush he had.

Of course, none of that happened.

Jaehyun found himself analyzing his own face in the mirror, giving himself a mental pep talk before he could even remotely think about venturing out onto the dreaded 5th floor.

Now, _that_ definitely wasn’t the approach he was going for, hyping himself up to confess to his older group member.

Many minutes, too many minutes, passed in that bathroom until Jaehyun forced himself to leave, taking a final deep breath, thinking one last time: _’What the hell am I doing?’_

And then he was on his way, passing by everyone else who was giving him encouraging smiles and thumbs up, regardless of how genuine they were.

He wished the way to the lower floor had been longer than it was, but he still thanked Johnny for opening the door for him.

”Oh, you’re really doing it?” He asked, nudging him with his elbow as they walked through the living room together.

Out of all the ‘support’ he had gotten, Johnny’s gentle smile soothed him the most. It certainly calmed him down as they kept getting closer to Doyoung’s room.

Jaehyun nodded, desperately trying to control his nerves.

”I guess. I hope the little brat knows which door I’m knocking on next after this.”

Johnny laughed, crossing his arms as he leaned on the wall opposite Doyoung’s room. Next thing he knew, Johnny was slipping through the door to his own room, his eyes darting between Jaehyun and Doyoung’s door before finally disappearing.

The empty hallway had no encouragements left for him, only intimidating Jaehyun further. 

He decided not to let it get to him, he wouldn’t chicken out now, so he stepped right in front of the door. He lifted his hand, preparing to knock, breathing in deeply.

His knuckles hadn’t made contact with the wood when the door swung open.

Doyoung stumbled back, inhaling sharply with a hand on his chest when he looked up and saw Jaehyun.

”Oh my God, you scared me. What are you doing here?”

Doyoung kept his hand on the door handle as Jaehyun slowly lowered his hand and laughed nervously.

”Uh, well.. I.. wanted to talk to you?”

”Are you asking _me_?”

Jaehyun was getting embarassed and he knew it was showing, he knew Doyoung could see the redness of the tips of his ears. He sheepishly looked down at his feet, chewing on his lower lip.

”Okay, I was just about to go to the kitchen. We can grab something and talk there, okay?”

Jaehyun stepped aside to let Doyoung lead the way and followed him to the kitchen, rubbing his hands over his face when Doyoung had his back turned to him. He threw his head back and stared at the ceiling for a second, pursing his lips, trying to keep himself together, immediately turning his expression into a polite smile when Doyoung looked over his shoulder.

”Do you want anything?” Doyoung asked and began looking through the fridge, oblivious to Jaehyun sliding onto a chair at the table behind him and nervously tapping his foot.

”No, I’m good.”

Doyoung gave up on the fridge and got himself an apple from the fruit basket instead, sitting down across from Jaehyun after rinsing it.

”Is there anything bothering you? Need some advice?”

Doyoung propped an elbow up on the table, watching the skin of the apple glisten before taking a bite out of it. Jaehyun giggled and leaned back, tilting his head when their eyes met.

”Why? Do I look that lost?”

”I don’t know, I just feel like you’ve been acting weird lately.”

 _What?_ Jaehyun furrowed his brows and dropped his hands onto the table.

” _I’ve_ been acting weird?”

Doyoung was taken aback by his reaction and the, if only slight, accusatory tone of his voice. He put his barely touched apple on the table and crossed his arms.

”What do you mean, Jaehyun? Yes, you’re being strange.”

”You don’t need to hide it from me, I know you know.”

It was Doyoung’s turn to scrunch his face up into a frown and tilting his head.

”Know wh-“

”You know exactly what I mean and that’s why I wanted to talk to you in the first place, hyung,” Jaehyun started and realized this wasn’t how he had wanted to bring it up, but there was no changing it now.

”I’m sorry I haven’t told you before, I was just too nervous. But I really meant what I said. I don’t know if this is weird to you, but I guess as much as I want us to be more than just friends, I just wanted you to know. You don’t have to answer me now, but.. I don’t know, maybe give it a thought?”

It should’ve felt like a burden being lifted off of his shoulders, he thought it would’ve eased his mind a little bit to get it off his chest, but he somehow felt worse. He didn’t know if the confused look on Doyoung’s face played any part in that.

He kept looking at him like that for the next minute, Doyoung’s eyes read blank. And Jaehyun’s mind started reading blank too, he didn’t know what to make of it.

By minute three of silence was when Jaehyun started getting impatient, Doyoung still hadn’t said or done anything and that could mean anything and the worst. But right when he was about to apologize for ever even telling him about everything, Doyoung shook himself out of his reverie.

”Jaehyun.. know what? Just what are you talking about?”

The younger looked at him with big eyes, trying to compute what was happening. The closer he got to the answer, the more he wanted the ground to swallow him up whole. _He didn’t know?_

”You.. haven’t heard? The recording?”

Doyoung shook his head and Jaehyun felt a pit in his stomach. He put his face into his hands, both elbows on the table, and began mumbling various variations of ‘oh my god’, ‘no’ and ‘what have I done’ to himself.

He barely heard the sound of a chair creaking against the wooden floorboards and footsteps shuffling closer as he basically went through the five stages of grief.

It was only when he felt a hand graze his back that he looked up, turning his head until he was met with the sight of Doyoung’s small smile, now much closer than before.

”So, what were you saying? You want us to be more than friends? And what’s that recording you’re talking about?”

Deciding that it was too late to back out now and that most of the damage had already been done, Jaehyun started telling him everything from the beginning. All the way from the ride in the van, to his disgustingly cheesy and embarassing confession up until Jaehyun threatening Donghyuck. Naturally, he left out most of the details of that proclamation of love.

Doyoung listened intently, palm pressed against his face, the other stroking down Jaehyun’s back, trying to surpress his progressively growing smile and Jaehyun couldn’t tell if he was mocking him, pitying him or something else.

As Jaehyun spoke his last words, he noticed Doyoung’s smile now full on display. And the older still hadn’t said anything, until now.

”That’s.. okay, wait, you’re such an idiot, first of all. Second of all, you really should’ve told me.. who said I didn’t like you like that? I thought I was being obvious with how much I liked you.. _like that_.”

Jaehyun sat there under the irritatingly vibrant lights of the kitchen and stiffly turned his head to look straight on, away from Doyoung. The latter laughed to himself, but didn’t push the younger further. He patiently waited for him to join him back in the realm of the living and if it weren’t for his patience, he might’ve never accepted Jaehyun’s confession.

”So,” Jaehyun began and directed his attention back to Doyoung after another minute of pondering.

”You’re telling me all the time I wasted stressing over- well, you – and not being able to tell you the truth.. you felt the same?”

”How much time exactly did you spend stressing over me? I’d love to know before we move forward,” Doyoung countered, completely disregarding his question.

”Too much. Maybe all of it.”

Doyoung smiled again and shook his head.

”If you didn’t know about the recording, why were you acting so weird around me?” Jaehyun finally asked, needing to know if he just hallucinated the past couple of weeks of his life or not.

”Because you were the one acting even more strange than usual towards me first! I didn’t know what was going on, I felt bad, and so I guess I started acting the same.”

He stared at him with wide eyes and nothing made sense to him. 

”’More than usual’? And why weren’t you telling me how you felt first?”

”Because you were acting strange!”

”Not all the time-“

Doyoung threw his hands up, his eyebrows raised even higher and got just the tiniest bit louder.

”Yes! All the time! What was I supposed to do when you would get all shy and get away from me whenever we were alone together? I didn’t wanna be pushy. If you’re telling me you’ve been acting strange because you liked me, that’s almost the entire time I’ve known you.”

Jaehyun hoped that everyone stayed in their rooms and avoided witnessing probably one of the most embarassing exchanges in his life. Maybe he _had_ been acting like an overly giddy teenager and everyone knew already.

”.. I already admitted to that, thank you very much.”

Jaehyun pouted and looked down at the table again, while Doyoung burst out laughing.

”Woah, I really wouldn’t have expected you of all people to be so bad at actual feelings and relationships. You can flirt with anyone and everyone, but the moment it gets serious, you act like _this_?”

”I came here to talk, not be bullied by my own group member,” he huffed as he spoke, turning his body away from Doyoung.

Doyoung, on the other hand, seemed to be overflowing with excitement, rocking side to side on his chair and leaning forward to shove his face in front of Jaehyun’s in an attempt to get him to look back at him, one of his hands getting ahold of Jaehyun’s under the table.

”Okay, okay, let’s- let’s get things straight. I like you, you like me, you’re bad at handling feelings and we’re a couple now, right?”

”Nothing about this is straight,” Jaehyun shot back, because he had nothing better to say, with a squeeze of their hands.

”Wow.”

He looked back at Doyoung – finally – and propped his elbow up on the table before him, resting his cheek in his unoccupied palm with the faintest hint of a smile on his face, because he wouldn’t give Doyoung the satisfaction of a full one.

”This relationship is going so well already.”

”Ooh, relationship. You wouldn’t happen to know about those, right? We’re _a thing_ now?”

”I’m leaving.”

”That’s not the exit.”

”I know.”

Jaehyun walked out of the kitchen, only letting the wide grin on his face appear after turning his back to Doyoung.

Before he could fully let the events of the past hour settle in and the realization hit that Doyoung was now, in fact, his boyfriend, he had someone to thank.

-

”Did you actually show Doyoung-hyung the recording?” 

Mark had asked Donghyuck when they were hanging around in the latter’s room a few days later.

”Nah, I deleted it pretty much right after. What else was I supposed to do with it?” Donghyuck replied, barely paying him half a mind as he was focused on the game on his computer screen.

Mark’s head was dangling down the edge of his bed before he turned himself over to prop his arms up and glare at him, knowing he wouldn’t see it, but know it was there.

”Oh, well, I don’t know, _blackmail_?”

”I made him _think_ I had blackmail and the rest happened by itself, I didn’t have to move a single finger. I’m not everyone’s favorite member for nothing.”

”Right, you’re really not.”

”Did I or did I not get Jaehyun-hyung to confess? Hm? That’s right. Now, be quiet. You never know what material I might have against _you_ up my sleeve.”

Mark rolled his eyes, it was useless arguing with him. He jumped off Donghyuck’s bed and agressively ruffled his hair.

”You’re awful,” he said as he walked out of Donghyuck’s room.

”And you love it.”

”Only sometimes,” Mark hummed as the door fell shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, as always.  
> 


End file.
